Parent's Recommendation - Storybook Gardens in London Ontario

If your kids are younger than about 10, I strongly recommend the Storybook Gardens in London Ontario. Think of a McDonald's Playland times 1000 without the bad smells, throw in a really cool rope climbing thing that Dad can enjoy too, and a splash park for a hot summer day, and you can fill most of your day at bargain basement prices.

And hey, it's only a 10 minute drive from civilization, so you don't have to pay amusement park prices for food.

http://www.storybook.london.ca/

Casino Restaurant Recommendations - Niagara and Wheeling

Niagara Fallsview: Go directly to the 'Famous' restaurant, adjacent to the main casino entrance! Huge-mongous portions of really really good food and reasonable prices. Best Pancakes Ever! Even sweeter when you sit down in and ALMOST order at the worlds' most expensive Denny's restaurant, which I was happy to walk out of before my order was taken. (Second most expensive Denny's may be in San Francisco's JapanTown, but I haven't done an exhaustive survey....)

Wheeling - Skip the casino, and go DIRECTLY to Abbey's restaurant and lounge on Wheeling Island! If you're ever driving I-70 this is a strong, strong recommendation. Reasonably priced, super-friendly, and they even cut their own meat and age their own steaks. It might not be Mortons or Ruth's Chris, but well worth a visit. Their ribs are not the Western or St. Louis style, but rather slow-cooked with lots of Rosemary.

Casino Reviews - Niagara Falls & Wheeling

Niagara Fallsview Canada - They have about 8 hold'em tables in the back, with the lowest possible limit is 6/12 canadian. If I did the math right, you'd need to come in with at least a 300 stack in order to not be the shorty. Why bother? There's also one table that is 5/NL for the truly reckless amongst you.

As an experiment, I took $5 USD and bought nickel tokens (I think the machine exchanged at par, because they know you're only going to piss it all away anyhow, right?), and played the tokens into a nickel one-armed bandit. At the end of play, I ended up with $1.75 Canadian in total payouts for my play. A similar experiment in Vegas in 1997 paid back something like $4.65. Why is competition among casinos better for the fish again?

They don't appear to sponsor hold'em tournaments either, but they have one-armed bandit tournaments and blackjack tourneys. Good for them.

Oh - by signing up for their club, I got into a free lottery for a weekend trip back, which is good because the canadian side looked really cool for the little we saw. There was also another free lottery for smokey robinson tickets and lodging, which would be pretty good for free too. I also got a nice bungee cord for my keychain....

Wheeling WV - No card tables at all. One armed bandits only. Long-ass line for the buffet, which I didn't hang out for.

Their frequent sucker club would have gotten me a free hat and a bungee cord, but I couldn't be bothered.

Simulation - Part 1

I told myself I wouldn't blog about the simulation games. I lied. Move on, dear reader.

Tonight I had an exceptional simulation, in which the best hand I got in the whole 10 player tournament was a j-10 suited, and an occasional paint 1-off (K/J os, A/10 os), and a whole lot of nuffin'. I wasn't even getting any of the Doyle family....

And YET I was able to finish on the bubble (3rd out of 10) by virtue of my betting strategy, which I fine tuned to the occasion. Be afraid, be very afraid!

Nicknames in the social group

I've already explained partially to the social group why I think I deserve my nickname, and plan to prove it in person when I get the chance.

I reserve the right to keep my 'nom de plume' within my blogs and sigs, whether the group calls me 'bug', 'p-wrinkle' or whatever. If I can't have the nick that I want, I will take my punishment graciously and answer to it appropriately, but you're not taking away my FNJ sig, dammit!

FNJ

'They got a name for the winners of the world, I want a name when I lose.
Drink Scotch Whisky, all night long, and dine behind the wheel....'

Note to Preacher

Preacher,

On-line, I have pretty thick skin, and I acknowledge the yahoo group as a den of name-calling and smart-aleckiness and smart alec guiness-ness of the highest order. We kid because we love, right? .... Right?

Ice and I have a common hobby involving sharp instruments, and though we've only met twice, I consider him a buddy already. He can throw all the stones he likes.

Ice - I've spared you any remarks on the throwback, but I've got a few on reserve! Just push that envelope! Seriously though, 'Bug' isn't nearly as bad as p-wrinkle, and many of my interests are just as arcane as that fellow you describe.

Preacher - Despite taking my damn money all the time, I consider you a buddy and a colleague too. I will extract my revenge, AT THE TABLE.

There's other people I consider good buds already, despite infrequent in-person meetings. Let the verbal daggers fly!

FNJ

PS: I'll sign my own damn blog any way I want.

Note to Sweet William the Monday Host Wannabe!

Sweet William,

Don't give up yet.

* Get a core group of buddies who will show up regular, then you only have a handful of seats for the yahoo social group.

* Your buddies/co-workers can be 'easy money' if you want. Just give 'em free beer and don't charge 'em too much for the entry fee.

* Did you REALLY read the posts I made on yahoo directed at you? I get the impression that you really didn't, or didn't give them fair consideration.

Glad to know you're near the Bud Plant. That makes you easy to find, and not ridiculously far from me. I may be able to come take your money in July!

FNJ

Mom

Been playing lots of NLHE with the Fam yesterday and today. Mom just got a Jack-High Straight Flush in Clubs on the river, the best hand I 've seen in person in my short playing experience.

Drunks, Nuts and Family Tourney

Here is a tourney structure for playing no-stakes with your immediate family, or nut-jobs. It keeps the action brisk and silly.

Starting stakes=0 (Wait, will I get expelled for playing a no stakes game?)
Starting Chips =1000 ( 5 blacks =500 @ 100, 5 blues =250 @50, 10 reds=250 @ 25)
Blind pattern
25/50, 50/100, 100/200, 250/500, etc. if necessary (I doubt it)
Blind Time = 7 minutes to escalate

You can see this is a lickety-split, no decision tourney.

Warning - While this is fun, it is detrimental to your poker playing skills. While I won't say 'Don't try this at home', I will say that you should take a moment to get your head back together before you play any real NLHE tourneys, because this tourney encourages you to make stupid plays.

Your Agony Aunt, Volume 2

Dear Agony Aunt,

This tourney I went to was incredible and I had the time of my life! Even though I RSVP'd and showed up on time, and didn't disrespect the hosts in any way, I still have the nagging feeling that I could have been a better guest for such an incredible host.

Euphoric but Puzzled

Dear Euph,

You were indeed almost a model guest, but there was indeed one way to take the zen of guest-ness to the next level. After enough people had been eliminated, there was critical mass for a tournament, and halting motion to get one started. During this action, additional burdens were placed upon the graceful host, who had plenty to do organizing the main function. In particular, there was a glaring faux pas on the part of the Yahoo Social Group.

Not one member of the social group had extra chips in the trunk of their vehicle.

In that circumstance, the host was gracious enough to run around looking for chips without neglecting the main event, and it was eventually worked out, but only after delay-of-game, and more worryingly distraction-of-host.

Being as awesome a host as {***} requires immaculate preparation. In the future, the social group should consider ways they can decrease {***}'s burden. If you were floored by the tourney, consider bringing one or more unopened bicycle decks as a token of goodwill on your next visit.

Nota Bene: To avoid any ethical or housekeeping dilemmas, the poker chips in your trunk are presumably not easily mistaken with the chips used in the main tourney, and they should not appear in the house until critical mass for the mini-tournament has been found. For example, if you have a cheaper brand of chips (RWBs or RWBBs) or chips with a distinctive seal or symbol, there would be no mistaking these with {***}'s chips.

All's fair in love and war (poker post)

In a prior blog, I mentioned folding the nut trips because I knew there was one more Ace in play, and my kicker sucked? The guy who I folded the big pot to was the one who told me that he was sitting on two pair, but he didn't show me.

But was it the lady or the tiger?

Wouldn't it have been in his better long-term interest to lie to me at that moment and tell me he didn't have the nut hand, even if he actually did? I would be more inclined to call him in the future, so he could play tighter against me, right?

I've lived a very sheltered existence, and it wasn't till I was a grown up that I learned you are supposed to twist the dagger or bayonet around a fair bit in order to insure your enemy's agonized death. This is a skill I still need to work on at the poker table. In a friendly game, I have no qualms with showing the nut hand when I know my opponent has just thrown away a large portion of his chips and folded in that state of uncertainty. I still haven't fully learned that rule about WHEN I have to show my cards at the showdown, and when I have the option of mucking them once I've seen my opponents cards.

Of course, I do not consider a 40 person tourney a friendly game, despite conisdering the participants my friends. If I have the opportunity, here's hoping I twist that dagger well tonight.

Linguistics and Language #1 (vaguely poker-related)

In this neck of the woods, I have been confused with Canucks more than once, and I do have some inherited linguistic tells that put me in that area, although a Canuck would never confuse me as one of them.

The point is, I have to drop the word 'Cool' from my vocabulary for two reasons.

1) I'm no longer 12 years old and idol-worshipping Arthur Fonzarelli.
2) Local players, both drunk and sober, recently mistook my saying 'Cool' with my saying 'Call.'

They would have been doing me a favor if they had insisted I stated a call, because I was later told that I folded the nut trips because I was worried about my kicker, when my worthy opponent allegedly only held two pair. What's the opposite of all-in fever?

Something that rhymes with Biggie Smalls or Snow Balls?

Good, Bien, Yoroshii, Okay, Vale, Eche Boa!, Jol!, and Dude! would all be acceptable substitutes, I hope, if I can train myself to use one of them instead.

Yahoo Groups Ramble # 4 (Off-Topic Time Sensitive)

2) With all the Geeks in our group, are there any Dreamcast nuts out there who know how to fix that 'disk not reading' error that is so common? I now have two that do the same thing. If anybody has a working Dreamcast they'd like to unload cheap, also drop me a line.

3) Are there any auto-mechanically inclined people out there who might be able to give me good advice for selling a '96 Volvo 850 Turbo? It runs like a top, but leaves a puddle of oil whenever it hangs out, even for short durations. Volvo dealerships in two different cities have proved useless, turning the car into an eternal money pit. Maybe I'll call NPR's Car Talk if I can't get good advice from my social group.

4) Does anybody have a decent LP player (Yes, I'm a troglodyte. Who are you again?) that is collecting dust and they want to get rid of cheaply? Drop me a line.

6) Watch the links for this page. I know that there's a lot of flotsam to wade through, so I will eventually build a link that breaks things down by category.

* Poker Playing
* Poker Hostings (and the FathasDay Tourney)
* Yahoo Group Specific Rants
* Other interests of mine, as I blog them by category
* Random Musings

Downward Chess Spiral (Games, Not Poker)

I play Dark Chess, a nifty variant of chess regularly on itsyourturn.com. They have ladders, where you try to get to be king of the heap. After 7 months of trying, I finally made it to the top of the heap on the 48 hour ladder, and happily stayed there for almost four weeks.

I was eventually leap-frogged, and held the #2 position for a week, and hoped to leap-frog back by quickly winning a game. I checked today, and I'm now in #4 spot. Given the amount of churn among the games, I have no positive expectation of returning to top-dog spot anytime soon.

Pity party anyone?

PS: The spike in blogging is because I'm on hold on the phone. When do you blog?

This might have been funny two weeks ago.... (bad joke alert - I wrote it)

Terri Schiavo is standing at the gates of St. Peters, and there had been a severe back-up in the line due to a 10 day vaction on St.Peter's part, and a slew of natural disasters.

Johnny Cochran, freshly dead, surveys the line and does not relish the idea of spending his first 30 days waiting in heaven's version of the DMV, and so he's looking for a way to get in a little quicker.

He sees Terri and stands in front of her without a word.

Terri gets upset and says 'Hey, what's the big idea?'

And Johnny Responds

"If you spent the last 15 on a tube, go to the back of the queue."

Pain Free for a Moment

Like any other transcendent activity, poker can be a great pain-reliever. For a mere $10, I was pain free for upwards of 3 hours last night. I played crappy pretty much all around, but nothing hurt.

A special hello to N & T. When I was low-stacked, I went all-in, and with A/10 H, and T called with K/9 D. We flipped the cards, and the flop came up A/K/no-paint. I was so excited that I failed to notice the number on the cards, and the rest of the table was enjoying the action as well. When the turn and river failed to produce another K or A, we shook hands, and I proceeded to scoop the pot, having just doubled-up. Good thing it was a friendly game, because that third card on the flop was T's two pair.

I'm such a bonehead....

Cash Table (When I am King/Host 4)

I'm thinking something like the four color chips will be a quarter, fifty-cent, a dollar and five dollar, and the max buy-in any one player could make would be thirty dollars? Any math genius care to tell me if that's a decent ratio, with a quarter initial ante, and fixed limit betting?

I already mentioned I don't like wild cards. I'd also like to limit the dealers choice to a finite number of games that everybody at the table has played. Of course, I don't want to be a total buzz-kill, so I can be probably talked out of this.

Soda Jerk! Get back to work already!

I've had a spate of what might be described as 'feverish activity', going a little overboard in blogland, the e-mail correspondence, and the yahoo group. I think I insulted a few people along the way, hopefully in a Don Rickles fashion, but I've probably made myself look like a first-class jerk. No? How about a second-class jerk then?

Well, if it's any consolation, I've been gritting my teeth for a few days now from the inguinal hernia repair, as I'm quickly running out of drugs but not running out of pain. If you read my stuff and thought 'this guy deserves a kick in the crotch', justice has been served....

My employer has been very understanding, telling me to come back slowly, when I'm ready. I've taken this at face value, and so I haven't said or done anything I might regret at work in my current state of mind. Today however, I'm back dealing with clients, so I've gotta mind my P's and Q's again.

Yee-Haw, it's a new day!

TV Poker (Part 3) - The Cry Baby

The commentators all call Phil Hellmuth 'The Crybaby' and mock him mercilessly. Here is my dissent.

When playing poker at a high level, job number one is to keep your emotions in check. The nature of NLHE is designed to do exactly the opposite, to get your blood boiling, if you will. When Phil is knocked out, he releases all of his pent-up emotions on camera without hesitation, presumably because he's full of himself and enjoys the air time he knows that he's going to get. (If he felt he was giving something away to his future opponents, I'm sure he'd go to his room and break eggs there.)

The commentators may gripe, but they love it. He sells commercials....

Preachers' Blind Mathematics

This was posted to the Yahoo Group, I'll share it here unless the author otherwise objects.

Quote - Everything Below by "Preacher"

How to hold a tournament in two and a half hours...

(1) Kick everyone's ass in 150 minutes.
or (here comes the math, so duck)

(2) Take the starting chips times the number of players in the tournament,this is the total pool. Figure how many rounds you want per hour (15 minutes rounds are 4 rounds per hour, 20 minutes = 3, 30 minutes = 2). Define how long you want to play (example 2.5 hours). Starting chips/2^(rounds perhour*hours of play)=big blind. Double blinds every round.

So 1500 chips to start, 30 players, 4 hours, 20 minute rounds = 45,000 inchips, 15 minutes rounds = 3 times 4 hours = 12, 2^12 = 4096. 45,000/4,096 =~11, so call it 10 for easy math. (If 2^12 is confusing, it works like this2^2 = 2*2, 2^3 = 2*2*2 (3 twos), 2^4=2*2*2*2 (4 twos), 2^12 =2*2*2*2*2*2*2*2*2*2*2*2*2 (12 twos)...)

1. 5/10
2. 10/20
3. 20/40
4. 40/80
5. 80/160
6. 160/320
7. 320/640
8. 640/1280
9. 1280/2560
10. 2560/5120
11. 5120/10240
12. 10240/20480
    

You can see that by round 12 (4th hour) the blinds will force you down to heads up. The math always works. It is possible for someone on the short to hang in there for a while and extend it another round or two but it'sunlikely. I recommend rounding the blinds for ease of play (i.e. 10240/20480becomes 10,000/20,000). I also like an ante of 1% of small (no less than 10 at 1000) to move things along.

At last all that math in college comes to good use.